Show Yr Body Love!

Though Love Your Body Day is officially Wednesday the 17th of October this year, Brown celebrated their LYBD today, organized by Students for Choice! SHEEC had a table, along with other Brown and community organizations (Brown Health Education, SHAG, the Queer Alliance, the Sarah Doyle Women’s Center, Feminists at Brown, Psychological Services, Planned Parenthood, RI NOW, Comprehensive Allyship Network, the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, and Sojourner House).

In order to participate in Love Your Body Day/Domestic Violence Awareness Month and raise funds for Sojourner House, a local advocacy and resource center for domestic violence, we’re going to have Love Your Body Photo Shoots.  We’ll offer sessions of about 10-15 minutes, where we essentially take pics of favorite body parts.  We’ll have people pick their favorite body part(s), draw a heart (we’ll have different color body paints, markers, and glitter), we take pics, then have them printed.  The pics will be matte BW and the heart will stay in color.  We’re going to print the pics, which will be relatively inexpensive.  If possible, we’ll also have some sort of exhibit in a physical space. If not, then we’ll definitely display them online.
Here are the prices:
5×7 1/$4 or 3/$10
8×10 1/$6
For more information, email brownsheec@gmail.com!

Starting Your Sex Week! (Free Teleclass)

** Register for Call and Download Here: http://ReidAboutSex.com/sex-week-teleclass-signup **

The event goes by many names, but whether you call it Sex Week, Condom Week, Safer Sex Week, Sex & Gender Week, or what have you, for those of you passionate about healthy sex and relationships (for yourself AND your fellow students), organizing a Sex Week-type event at your school is one of the most powerful ways to impact your campus culture!

  • If bringing accurate sexual health information and pleasure-based sex education to your fellow students is important to you?
  • Wishing there was a campus-wide way to lessen sexual shame while promoting healthy, sexual self-expression in all it’s forms?
  • Are you interested in upping the discourse around topics like feminism, sex, dating, relationships, LGBTA, pornography at your school?
  • How about making dating and sex more fun and safe during your college years (and those of your classmates)?!?
  • Perhaps you already have a Sex Week-type event on your campus and you want to make it better?
If any of the above inspire you, please join some of the brightest Sex Week organizers and sex and relationship educators of our time for a free, 90-minute, conference call (also downloadable for free if you miss it!) containing their best advice, as well as worst nightmares!

Register for Call and Download: http://ReidAboutSex.com/sex-week-teleclass-signup

Our “Sex Week Think Tank” includes: Call moderator Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com, Megan Adelloux of OhMegan.com, Aida Manduley, formerly of Brown Sex Week, Courtney Peters of Sex Week At Yale, and others To Be Announced shortly!

Recording Date: August 21st, 2012
Teleclass Time: 3pm Eastern – 4:30 Eastern
Location: Call-In from Anywhere Teleclass or Register and Download for Later!
Register for Call and Download: http://ReidAboutSex.com/sex-week-teleclass-signup

How To Start a Sex Week On Your Campus: The Ins and Outs of Planning, Promoting and Pulling Off a Successful Sex Week At Your School! will attempt to cover:

• Why you might want to create a Sex Week or make your existing one better
• What to do
• What NOT to do
• How to design the Sex Week that’s right for your campus
• How to pool resources so it’s not just one person doing everything
• How to collaborate with other campuses and organizations
• How to research, invite, book, negotiate, and handle your speakers in a professional manner
• Sponsorships, etc.
• How to deal with administration
• Promotion on campus
• How to handle the media
• Challenges with inclusivity
• How to deal with push-back and negative response

We already confess that this is too much information to cover in a 90-minute call, but we promise you to give you our best thinking, tips and advice, and point you toward valuable resources that will help you create a more powerful event while making it more fun for you as well as your classmates!

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel! Your campus deserves better sexual health resources and outreach! And we could all use some more fun in our sex education!

Join us and spread the word!

Register for Call and Download: http://ReidAboutSex.com/sex-week-teleclass-signup=

Dirty Talk: A Sexy Spring Weekend Kickoff

April 18th @ 7PM – 9PM in Barus and Holley, Room 166

(182 Hope Street, between Waterman and George Streets)

Cosponsored by the Queer Alliance.

You can also check the FB event here!

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Kick off your weekend with DIRTY TALK – a sexual communication and consent workshop with Ben Privot of The Consensual Project! While YOU and YOU ALONE are the leading expert on your own desire, this presentation will help provide you with the tools to address questions such as:

  • What IS dirty talk?
  • What makes you feel dirty?
  • How can you improve the quality of your sexual experiences?
  • How and what do you want to communicate when you feel dirty?
  • How do you overcome the intimidation of sharing yours desires with others?
  • Are you a Narrator or a Director during sexual play?

Verbal (and non-verbal!) communication during sex can significantly improve the quality of sexual experiences. “Dirty Talk” enables us to not only take control of our own desires and share them with our partners, but it also ultimately helps to create a space where all partners feel comfortable with one another.

Come immerse yourself in a sex-positive environment and learn why consensual hooking up is hotter hooking up. Learn how to best express yourself to your partners and hookups, and how to use open communication to discover common ground with those you’re into.

Oh, and did we mention SEX TOYS?

SHEEC will be raffling all of the awesome sex toys that left over from Sex Week! Everyone who attends Dirty Talk will get 1 free raffle ticket, and the first 20 people will each get an additional free ticket! 

We will also have additional tickets for sale if you want to improve your chances to win, and Ben will be giving away free toys throughout the night as well!

The Blue Rose: A Spoken Word Showcase to Break the Silence on Abuse!

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It’s time to SPEAK OUT!  

April is National Sexual Abuse and Child Abuse Awareness Month. Join SHEEC as we present a powerful Spoken Word Showcase that brings these issues out into the open. Only the abusers value our silence and isolation, so now it is time to BREAK the SILENCE around child and sexual abuse. 

On Thursday, April 12th at 8pm in List 120 (64 College Street), a group of powerful poets will be sharing their stories with you, with open arms to Male Survivors as patrons and poets.  The goal is to keep the dialogue open, keep telling our stories, and enCOURAGE others to tell theirs.  

Society has made victims and survivors feel “dirty”, “ashamed”, “embarrassed” and “afraid” of the abuse they have endured. Let’s promote support for survivors! Talking about the abuse will help remove the stigma attached to it for the victims. It’s time to take away the power of the abusers and put it in the hands, minds and hearts of the survivors!

April is just the beginning! 

Showcase Appearances by: Toni Rose, Pat Martin-Rossi, Amy Doran, Christopher Johnson, Porsha O, Claudia Wilson, Michaelle Santil, Neiel Israel, Quentin Lucas and other guest poets. 

The event will take place on THURSDAY, APRIL 12th at 8 pm in LIST 120 (64 College Street). You will leave the show entertained, enlightened, encouraged, empowered, and informed. This is NOT an event you want to miss!

The event is FREE, but donations are *encouraged*. These will go toward Sojourner House, a local domestic violence agency that was founded by Brown students 35 years ago!

Sex Week 2012: Erotica Contest

Have you ever fantasized about doing sexy things while studying abroad? Ever fantasized about watching sexy people do sexy things while studying abroad? Whatever you dream about, we want you to write down your sexiest/kinkiest/funniest piece of erotica and submit it to enter our contest. Winners will receive a prize from one of our Sex Week sponsors and get their story posted (& credited if desired) on the SHEEC website.

The theme is INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS: erotic study abroad experiences. Thinking boy-on-boy, phe-on-phe, shaking up the beds while a Parisian breeze blows in through the window? Get as creative as you can, just as long as you do not include the real first and last names of the people you write about if your story comes from personal experience.

Length (of the story, of course) can vary; we embrace all styles. If you are inclined to make art instead of writing, drawings, paintings, and other media are also welcome.

Submit your stories to eroticasheec@gmail.com or campus box #3354 by March 16th. Sign them with your real name and/or your campus box # so we can contact you. Winners will be announced March 17th via our Facebook page, website, and Twitter account (@brownsheec). Let the games begin!

“Your Ignorance Is Showing”

 Alternatively titled: “A Response to Cate Stewart and Lisa Lansio”
and originally posted here by Aida.

 

For those of you who don’t know, I’m one of the two co-leaders of SHEEC this year–a group with which I’ve been heavily involved since its inception in 2008/2009. I was at a conference in Colorado this week and sadly had to miss 3 of our events, including a showcase/open-mic in honor of Wear Purple Day/Spirit Day and Love Your Body Day that would benefit Sojourner House, a local domestic violence agency founded by Brown students in 1976. The Showcase featured 2 local poets, the Gendo Taiko (Japanese drumming) crew, Attitude (a dance troupe), as well as a few other performers (of the singing/acoustic-guitar variety).

 

After a set of great performances, the last two individuals who signed up for the open-mic portion took the stage and began to attack the event and the people who were in it, saying that having a campus pole-dancing troupe perform was “not respectful” and that “it just perpetuated gender roles and objectified women.” One said that “she came here expecting to be empowered, but that’s not what happened for her at all” and that we “need to stop singing about gendered things” (and I believe the example was getting kissed in parking lots? Which…what?).

 

The other added that “women need to stop playing the victimized role, stop blaming men for our problems, women bring it upon themselves” and that “women have the power just as much as men and are as much to blame for abuse as men, that women are not chained to the floor and can just walk away from abusive situations.” That same one mentioned some of the performers who talked about abuse or abused women and their mindsets have no right to speak issues that they were not physically a part of (which is actually inaccurate, but I’ll get to that later).

 

This is my response, not only as SHEEC’s Co-Chair,  but as an individual:

 

First of all, the controversial pole-dancing performance. I’m tired of defending and explaining this one, so I’ll keep it short and sweet. Empowering women doesn’t mean desexualizing them. Objectification is only a problem if it’s not paired with due subjectification (read this post as well as the comments). Finally, we support a group of educated women who want to “stretch the boundaries of pole dancing as something far more than simply sexy,” who “want to create a place where people feel comfortable, athletic, and yes, sexy!” and who “consistently challenge the stereotypes that surround vertical dancing, and seek to bring together a wide range of art forms through experimentation and openness in [their] performances.”

 

We wanted to showcase individuals who would address the core of our event, who would speak to their relationships with their bodies via song/dance/poetry and would show us a bit of themselves through their art. This event wasn’t meant to empower every person, but provide a space so people could share what empowered them and talk about what didn’t. Sorry, Cate and Lisa, if this didn’t empower you personally, but that’s not what the event was for. We wanted to start the conversation and show the varied emotions people had regarding their bodies, trying to focus on the positive, but also trying to highlight the complexity and (thus billing it as something “silly and serious and complex” in our advertising).

 

Now, what I consider the most egregious part of this evening (again, from what I’ve been told) was the commentary around abuse and the power women do or don’t have.

 

  • As a CLASS of people, no, women do not have the same power men have. This, of course, is affected by the intersections of people’s identities and how they affect their place on the social ladder/s, but if we’re only considering it on the axis of sex, no. We are not seen as equal and we do not have the same power men do. Some individual women may have more power in specific contexts, but ask yourself–is that because they’re women or is it because of something else? And furthermore, think of the difference between winning a battle and winning the war. Few and exceptional individual cases of powerful women don’t erase the massive inequalities across society.
  • We are not blaming individual men for “our problems.” First of all, they’re EVERYONE’S problems. Second of all, what we *are* blaming is a system that in most instances, privileges men and masculinity and devalues or even punishes women and femininity (not that the two–m/m and w/f–are inextricably joined, but are often thought to be). It’s not the fault of individual men (or women) acting in a vacuum; it’s the fault of everyone taking actions that contribute to this system, and that’s why EVERYONE has to work against it.
  • “Women bring it upon themselves” is such a problematic statement, I don’t even know where to begin. My first reaction is to say “Your privilege and ignorance are showing.” I’ll call upon the words of S. Biko: “The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.” READ ABOUT OPPRESSION AND POWER. Expand your myopic view. Your personal experience as a a woman and even as a victim/survivor of abuse does not qualify you to invalidate the experience of others, particularly women who have experienced trauma.
  • Abusive situations are DEFINED by a power and control imbalance, so NO, if the abusive partner in a male/female couple is the male, the female partner does NOT have the same power. She is also NOT TO BLAME for the abuse; no victim of abuse ever is. Read up on slut-shaming and victim-blaming to educate yourself on this. Intimate partner abuse is also often reinforced by other forms of institutional abuse/power; again, these things don’t occur in a vacuum. Context is important!
  • Many circumstances make it difficult for women (or any abused partner) to walk away from their situation, and the comment about them “not being chained to the floor” is offensive in its disrespect and flagrant ignorance. This an excellent resource that answers the “why doesn’t she just leave?” question so often posed to and/or about victims. Also check this  out for more information. I personally hate this question because it blames, shames, and disenfranchises victims, though I understand where it comes from (because I once asked it too).
I commend Jenn, Chay, Linh, and the other SHEEC planners that were there and handled this as gracefully as they could given the circumstances. Thank you for positively representing SHEEC and doing damage-control, for letting those two girls know that you respected their right to have an opinion and their desire to share it, but that they did not have to attack other performers to express them. I also want to thank the performers for weathering that storm and for reaching out to us after the event with very touching emails.

 

Having a conversation or constructive dialogue is not the same as being argumentative and rude. Debating a point is not the same as attacking a group of people and not listening to their defense. Constructive criticism is no the same as ignorant remarks made to shame others and devalue their experiences. Learn the difference, Lisa and Cate, and then try again. We’re willing to listen if you are.

 

SHEEC is a group that was made to address issues of gender, sex, sexuality, and all the things that go along with it. This means we aren’t going to shy away from difficult conversations, controversy, and tackling the taboos. In fact, it means we’re more likely to address them because we come from a place that sees addressing those topics as a PRESSING NEED instead of as something to be avoided. We want to make people feel challenged and productively uncomfortable while also nourishing those who need it and providing support for folks marginalized due to their sexuality or desires. If you are looking for a “safe” group that doesn’t push envelopes, this is not it.

Spoon Me, Fork Me: An Evening of Sensual Pleasures


(photo by Ben Fink, in The New InterCourses book)

Come to a delicious evening of sensual pleasures!

(PLEASE RSVP to brownsheec@gmail.com, though drop-ins are welcome. We just want to know how many people approx. plan on attending!)

Learn how to please lovers in bed with a workshop by Megan Andelloux focusing on the art of oral sex (a combination of Fabulous Fellatio and Female Sexual Pleasure), then partake in a delicious selection of hors d’oeuvres (based on traditional aphrodisiacs) and chocolate fondue to stimulate your palate. We’ll have a raffle and finish off the evening with a foreign film that beautifully synthesizes the magical qualities of sex, food, and sensuality (Like Water for Chocolate). Certainly an evening not to miss!

**OVERALL SCHEDULE**

8-10: workshop with Megan Andelloux **during which we’ll hand out the raffle tickets!**
10-11: raffle, food-tasting, and other magical wonders
11-1: Like Water for Chocolate movie screening

**WE’RE RAFFLING OFF**

**WE’RE SERVING**

Libations:

  • raspberry iced-tea
  • lemon iced water

Seductive Starters:

  • mini beef wellington with demi glace sauce
  • asparagus wrapped prosciutto and boursin
  • 5 spice duck on sweet potato cakes
  • onion tart
  • 3 mushroom pizza
  • fig, honey and goat cheese

Delectable Desserts:

  • chocolate fondue station
  • strawberries, bananas, pineapple, pretzels, marshmallows
  • sugar cookies and biscotti

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION**

This event is a collaboration between SHEEC, the Brown Epicurean Society, and the Gender and Sexuality Studies DUG. We also want to thank Fascinations (www.funlove.com) for donating The New Intercourses, Kama Sutra Closet for donating the Oysters & Chocolate book, and Intimate Organics for donating their body products.

We’ll have condoms available at the event, as usual. This time, the variety will include Sir Richard’s condoms–a new, innovative condom company and brand with a commitment to social justice.

Peg-Ass-Us

Peg-Ass-Us

  • March 15th @ 7:30 PM @ Rites & Reasons Theatre (155 Angell St.)
  • A hilariously penetrating look at queer sex for straight folks, complete with sing-a-longs, how-to’s, romance, puppets and soul-baring striptease. John Leo and Sophie Nimmannit have crafted perhaps the silliest, most heartfelt romantic comedy about anal sex imaginable. Build in their passionate lover’s quarrels that unearth the messy entanglements of desire, fear, the need for acceptance, the hope for a sexual revolution – and the duo bumbles to a climax where everyone gets off. Be forewarned–there will be some nudity at this event!